Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
