Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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