You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
