just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
