what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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