I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
