Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
