this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
