Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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