You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
