And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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