tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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