So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
