well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
