you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
