Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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