What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
