kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
