Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
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