Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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