How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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