if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
