so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
