if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
