I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
