when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
