YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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