his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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