Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
