But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize