i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
