So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
