Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
