they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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