why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
