i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
