hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize