Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize