Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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