True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
