Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize