So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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