My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize