Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
