even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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