Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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