I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
