apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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