I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
i out mim tonsoeep
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
