You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
