turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I have fence marks all over my body
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
