Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
