is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
