You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
