I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I understand Curling. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize