Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
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It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
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No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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