my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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