Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize