Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Screwed.edu
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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