There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
